Today, life threatening decisions are going to be made and I fear the worst. Six months ago it was discovered that my 74 year old grandfather had health problems. It came as no surprise to us as we were all aware of the life he had led. He grew up in a village in Mexico lacking more than health care, it lacked roads, running water, and electricity. He also never received education about how to take care of his body and later as an American citizen his habits remained unhealthy. He spent most of his years here doing manual labor and eating tasty but health threatening foods. All things considered, this 74 year old man has had a full and long life.
In the last few months the wonderful world of medicine has transformed the grandfather I knew into a medicated zombie barely able to care for himself. On one of his many trips to the hospital they recently found what may or may not be a malignant tumor on his thymus. Yesterday the doctor convinced my grandfather that he needs to undergo life-threatening surgery to remove the mass, today! I argue that this is another senseless scheme for the doctors to fill their pockets. Even if they remove the mass, that may or may not be malignant, and even if his fragile old body makes it through the surgery he will still have a slew of other serious health problems to deal with. I begged my mom not to let him go through with the surgery but the family is torn. Some still see hope in having the surgery but the rest of us recognize the reality.
Am I a heartless granddaughter if I suggest they take him home and let nature take its course?
Posted by nicole at November 9, 2005 07:43 AMyou're not heartless at all. i really hate the fact that all of our medical research centers around improving the quantity of life without improving the quality. personally i think my grandmother should have died a couple years before she did because whenever i would go over there she didn't always recognize me and forgot about me if i left the room. as well, we pretty much always had the exact same conversations and i was under the impression that she was just waiting to die. you're not heartless at all. go buffs!!
Posted by: dave at November 9, 2005 11:05 AMI've only heard the situation with your Uelo third hand so I can't completely justify the decisions to either let him remain as he is or to go in for surgery but I can say that it is a doctor's job to help an individual in any way that they can.
My argument against just letting him go home and die is that if the doctor is any kind of good doctor at all he's looking out for the best interests of your Uelo and not himself. I guess it comes down to the kind of person the doctor really is.
I know when my Farmor was in the hospital they recommended a surgery to try and remove as much of the brain tumor as they could. The reason being that she could only get better by removing the tumor. The doctor let us know at the time that if the surgery was unsuccessful we could take her home and let her die in peace even though she would live a lot longer if she remained under hospital care.
As it turned out the surgery was unsuccessful and we did bring her home. I was thankful at the time that the doctor did what was in the best interest of my Farmor but it was hard watching her disappear. In the end it wasn't the tumor that killed my Farmor, it was her inability to eat.
Based on my experience I think either way your Uelo will continue on his journey towards his final destination at the same rate. Surgery or not. When our bodies really decide that it's our time to go I don't think there's a whole lot we can do.
Posted by: -dominic at November 9, 2005 12:01 PMmixed feelings on this... i believe in dying with dignity, but also believe in helping people the best you can, at a certain point, i think it is just best to stop prolonging life and accept death.
Posted by: dan at November 10, 2005 11:06 PMI am very sorry to hear that, Nicole. I will certainly keep you and your family in my thoughts.
Posted by: Denise at November 13, 2005 09:43 AM