When I was younger I always said I'd age gracefully. With my 25th birthday less than 24 hours away I'm not feeling quite as optimistic.
I've said it before and I'll reiterate it here that one's twenties are much harder than adolescence. There are too many options and not enough resources for most twenty somethings (this is an assumption based on a small collection of non-scientifically based data). Some of us have college degrees or are working toward a first one or a second one or like my fabulously intelligent friend, Paul, their third one.
But what does it all mean? Having a degree doesn't pave the path. Even my friend Paul, who is a dissertation away from a Phd, doesnt know what he's going to do afterward. And thats just one piece of the puzzle. What about relationships, location, children, home purchases and other huge factors? If you've figured out one piece of the puzzle, like some of my friends have, how do the other pieces fit in? Do you sacrifice one for another? Do you shove them in where they dont fit?
I may be a little over concerned with some of these issues the day before I turn 25 because, well, I'm turning TWENTY FIVE! When I was younger I thought I'd have it all planned out by now. Mostly I feel as though I'm at a crossroads. I know that must sound a bit melodramatic but let me attempt an explanation.
Next spring I will have a bachelor's degree (finally) but I will not have a license to teach because that takes another 3 semesters. Thats another year and a half. So I've been looking into various masters programs because a master's is typically 2 years only half a year more. But then there's the financial piece that doesnt need much explaining. Then there's my empty womb wondering when she'll get her chance. Wait, before you choke, hear me out. I'm not dying to have a baby tomorrow or even in the next couple of years but I do plan on it someday. And as all the other pieces of the puzzle demand my attention and resources I cant help but wonder how that last piece is going to find its way into my life.
i know that's a lot of rambling but, jesus, I'm scared.
Posted by nicole at July 2, 2007 11:01 AMWell said, Nicole -- I think our 20s would be weird if they weren't angst-ridden. Happy birthday! I'll be 26 on Thursday, and I can say (for myself anyway) each year brings some more clarity, as well as some more cloudiness.
Posted by: Leslie at July 2, 2007 11:36 AMYeah I have felt a bit scattered about what I actually want lately.
Posted by: Dan at July 2, 2007 06:14 PMMy general feeling lately is that I think I know what I ultimately want and then when I think it's going to happen it freaks me out because I don't feel ready for it and don't want to ruin these opportunities when they actually come by not given them my all and they deserve more than what I have now. One day I suppose for all my adventures but I'll try not to rush it and enjoy the amazement that is now and not knowing.
Posted by: jess at July 2, 2007 11:29 PMHappy Birthday! I <3 you!
Posted by: Megan at July 3, 2007 02:04 PMHappy Birthday! Hopefully you got some Jager, but if not i'll be sure to make up for it next time! As far as knowing how it all goes I've been thinking through the same thing with lots of others our age and nobody seems to have it all pieced together - I'd say you guys are doing just fine
Posted by: scott at July 4, 2007 10:32 PM