So as it turns out growing up is hard. I'm in a place where I feel too young to be a grown up and too old to be a kid. Part of it is taking this new job. I'm a professional now which translates to: GROWN UP. Scary thought. Next week is my first week on my own, all the responsiblity is mine.
Last night I had a dream about Dom and I getting our lips pierced. I think its my subconcious begging me to stay young. Today I want to do something wild like pierce my lip, dye my hair, cut it all off, something, anything.
Oh well I guess I'll just go iron my pantsuit and get ready for the week.
Where to begin? Today sucked and well...blew. First of all the wind almost blew our house down last night affording me no sleep before starting my week. This morning I met the owner of a salon who was incredibly rude and condiscending. Then I went to the next salon where all the work I had done last week was destroyed by the lazy, incompetent girls who work there. Then I get a message from blockbuster in New Mexico saying they want their video game back otherwise they're going to charge me. I called them to let them know I most certainly do not have a video game of theirs as I have been living in Colorado for the last 8 months. Come to find out someone I used to know rented a video game on my account and never returned it. The guy at blockbuster was a total ass and had no help to offer me. Then Dom and I were planning on spending our anniversary in Glenwoodsprings but as luck would have it there isnt a room available. And then I found out that someone "defaced" my blog. Of all the gozillians of websites why mine? Why today? And I must mention that Dominic got some unwanted news today which mad him sad, which made me sad, which only added to the crappy crappy day.
So here the day is ending. Not the best way to start the week but at least i can look forward to it getting better. Right?
Holy Crap! Did anyone else almost get taken away by the crazy wind?
Note to self: Dont wear skirts on windy days
Last night I was held hostage by my thoughts
The feelings I didn't want to feel
The thoughts I didn't want to think
I prayed for sleep
I prayed I'd be cured by my dreams
But I can't sleep
I won't close my eyes
I don't want to dream
I’ll just stare at the ceiling
Wishing I could scream
AS the feelings build
So do the tears
Pray for sleep
Pray to be cured by dreams
But I can't sleep
I won't close my eyes
I don't want to dream
Hours I wait for tomorrow to start
Another day, Another week
I pray for new thoughts and new dreams
The last few days have left me contemplative. I've been contemplating life, death, love, love lost, the future, the past and everything else my brain can think of. Even as I sleep my brain is still thinking. The dreams I've had these last few nights make me wish I'd never fallen asleep. Maybe they're just dreams and have no validity in the real world but maybe not. Sometimes dreams are something more. A subconcious mechanism to warn or prepare you for what is to come. Whatever it is going on in my head I hope it ends soon I cant take anymore of it.