the Nonsense in Between

summer school is bad for...

my social life
my love life
my complexion
my sanity
my tan
my health
my blog
my freetime

...but it is almost over. Then we CELEBRATE!

10 Steps for Reclaiming Balance

· Get regular massage or other bodywork - somehow i doubt massaging my temples in frustration every day counts.

· Learn yoga, t'at chi or qigong - i cant remember the last time i touched my toes and you want me to do what?

· Keep a daily journal - i cant even keep up with my beloved blog

· Begin and end your day with meditation - meditation invariably leads to me remembering to add more things to my to do list.

· Spend time with animals and nature - i spend time with Oni, but for those of you who know him, he is not the best stress reducer.

· Sleep according to your bodies needs - haha, right! "dear Professor, my body needs more sleep so I think i'll be an hour late to class every morning. Oh and that 10 page paper? I was sleepy so here's three pages."

· Drink 6-8 glasses of water each day. - Water? 6-8 glasses of WINE would probably help reduce stress more efficiently.

· Eat small, frequent, well-balanced meals. - The wine is more effective on an empty stomach anyway.

· Schedule daily time alone in a private place - I'm guessing "toilet time" doesnt count for this one.

· Engage in a spiritual practice - I'm guessing "toilet time" doesnt count for this one either.

havoc

hav·oc (hāv'ək)
n.

1. Widespread destruction; devastation.
2. Disorder or chaos

Farewell Falwell

In rememberance of the late Jerry Falwell I watched Tinky-Winky dance on PBS and it turns out Falwell was right because suddenly I feel the urge to jump into a same-sex relationship and paste rainbow stickers allover my car.

A quote from the late Evangelist:
"Grown men should not be having sex with prostitutes unless they are married to them"

This was just one of my favorites. Follow the link to the wikiquote page and read many more equally profound messages from the pastor. Three quotes in and you might have some of the same feelings the people commenting at the LA Times are expressing.

a few examples from the page:
"A person died and that's sad. Having said that, let's face it, he was a bigot and a demagogue, and successful at that. He made himself rich, and left this country and world a worse place for his having been here."
Submitted by: Sandy

"a fanatic is a fanatic i dont care what religion he is, most people try to find the good when someone passes but I must say the less of these type of fanatics there are the better off we all are."
Submitted by: george

Thug Life

I've been too angry to post lately. Even as I type this I fear my anger will interfere with my ability to articulate.

You may or may not have read about the recent events that induced this indignation on my husband's blog but I feel the need to get these things off my chest here too.

Before we left for Sean and Penny's wedding last week the family was worried to leave the house in the care of Dominic's little sister, Kirstie. My father-in-law and his girlfriend would also be gone on a vacation of their own. Dominic and I would only be gone a couple of days but my father-in-law gave Kirstie a real good talking-to before he left. Lot of good it did, too.

We left here thursday afternoon, the house gets ransacked by 8 thugs on friday night. How did 8 thugs know that the house would be unattended? Dominic and I dont hang out with thugs, Ginger and Gary dont either, but Kirstie certainly does. She opened our home to these fuckers and has the audacity to argue she has no involvement in this. She didnt plan this therefore she's free and clear of blame plus she said "sorry" even though its not her fault so she should get credit for that. She went on to explain that "its not that big of a deal, only a laptop was stolen". NOT THAT BIG OF A DEAL?! What the fuck is in this little girl's skull? Beans? This is a huge fucking deal. But what does she care? She's a hardcore thug so nothing gets to her. What's more is that she's never had to deal with the repercussions of any of her stupid mistakes. Windows get smashed, dad dishes out the dough to fix them. Mailbox gets smashed, dad gets up early and fixes it. Car gets wrecked twice in two weeks, dad to the rescue. Kirstie has a sob story for each incident and it always ends in "its not my fault". Each time it gets more serious and this time she's put her family in danger. Go out drinking and drugging getting in fist fights every other night, fine. But bring this on this home? She's got some goddamn nerve.

She has no fucking respect for all her family has provided for her. This, and all of her mistakes, are a slap in the face to all the hardwork that has gone into her upbringing. She has no clue what a life like this takes. With the help of my family I was able to escape the life of an impoverished thug. I grew up hearing drive-by's in my neighborhood almost weekly, my own father was in jail for a year when i was young, a good fifty percent or more of my family has been in jail. My closest cousin is in prison for the next 20 years. My mom witnessed her brother-in-law get shot and killed in my grandmother's house. Another uncle of mine hung himself in a tree near my grandparents' house. My dad's cousin was shot and killed, drug overdoses have taken a few too. As close as I have been to all of this I managed to escape it. And here Kirstie is, a privileged little white girl, trying her her hardest to bring all of that here. She's had more handed to her than any of her friends and this is how she repays her dad, this is how she contributes to society.

Its disgraceful and infuriating.

We can only hope that she will soon come to terms with the gravity of this situation and make some serious changes.

ima wreck

with so much drive and no direction its really no surprise.

heavy

life is heavy today.

Dear Mother Nature,

The deal is off. You remember? That one where you were all making promises to make life beautiful again and I was going to praise your gloriousness. Yeah, well your little stunt today, the eight inches of snow and 20 degree weather has once again made me lose trust in you.

I know you, like all women, have the right to change your mind at any time but this is bullshit. You're losing credibility and I'm starting to think you should be taking heavy doses of lithium. Hot one day cold the next? This could be a serious sign of a little psychological condition called Bi-Polar disorder.

Maybe you're just doing it on purpose because you're afraid to let anyone get too close to you. You wouldnt want anyone to think you're a softy, Right? Well, you've gone too far. The December blizzards and January frost were enough but you crossed the line today. And did you even stop to think about all the little kids that are supposed to be enjoying their SPRING break? You're a cold hearted bitch.

Losing Faith in You,
Nicole

PS please dont strike me with lightning.

Laryngitis

Only I would get a disease from talking too much. (ok, so laryngitis isnt a disease but it is torture.) Three days ago I woke up with a sore throat that eventually left me paralyzed (ok, not paralyzed but voiceless). It has been torture ever since. The cause of this little condition is either a virus or using your voice too much. Since I dont have a fever or anything it was likely caused by the latter. And I know you wouldnt know it from my sparse blog posts but I actually have a lot to say and I pretty much talk CONSTANTLY. Some of my incessant talking has been quelled at my husband's request but I still talk A LOT.

The only thing I can do to get my voice back is to not use it. I've been trying hard not to talk but its almost more painful to keep my thoughts inside than to use my damaged larynx.

Gmail Problems

Anyone else having trouble with gmail today? Not being able to access my email is like not having a cell phone, which lets face it, is pretty much like having your arms cut off.

argg.

if love is measured in bouquets and bracelets count me out

Many of you have accused me of not conforming for the sake of not conforming but i'm here to tell you that that simply is not true. i'm actually quite good at conforming, sometimes i even prefer it; like when i pee in toilets instead of public places. But for your stupid consumer driven bullshit holidays i cant seem to find reasons to participate, especially this one. That other consumer holiday i can at least find some speckle of substance in. But this one? Seriously, do you know how many diamonds were purchased today? Well, I dont know but I'm sure the figures are grotesque. Here are some other figures that might make you yack, or if you're one of those people who wishes someone would spend money on you today it may send you into a downward spiral of depression and i hope you choke on chocolate.

To those of you in relationships: i hope that you arent counting on v-day baloney to confirm your love and if you are you have no clue what love is.

To my one and only: thank you for not saying "i love you" today, you are my everything.

The Adventures of Oni-Dog

As many of you know Oni's little life has been chock full of adventure. As his
"parents" Dominic and I have come to accept this but nothing could have prepared us for what happened yesterday.

Oni and I were hanging out all morning when my sister-in-law, Kirstie, and her boyfriend showed up. Shortly after they arrived Oni became very lethargic. At the time I just thought he needed a nap but when I went to take him for a walk he wouldn't even pick up his head. What dog doesn't respond to the W word? Strange as it was I still thought he was just sleepy so I picked him up to make him walk but he couldnt. He tried but his legs wouldnt work. MY DOG'S LEGS WOULDNT WORK!

I started thinking about our morning and wondering if he could have eaten something poisonous. The only time I wasnt watching him was when he was with Kirstie and Victor but by this time they had already left so i couldnt ask them what he might have eaten. I looked around for a half eaten bottle of pills or anything but I only found dog vomit. As I cleaned up the puke I did something without even thinking about it, something I wouldnt normally do, I smelled his puke. Yes, I picked up Oni's vomit and put it to my nose when I discovered my little guy's problem. His barf smelled like like a 420 convention. You guessed it; the ganga, the wacky tobacky, giggle weed, reefer, herb, MARIJUANA. But how much had he eaten? And who the fuck left weed where my dog could eat it? And how could someone let that happen? And what's going to happen to my dog? Will he die? Should I induce vomitting? Do i know how to induce vomitting?

I called Dominic and histerically spewed out my million questions. He searched the internet and we found some comfort in the information he found. It said to keep the little guy warm and hydrated and just wait for it to pass. But it also said to keep an eye on him incase he went comatose. So i took reefer dog to work and watched as he slowly; very, very slowly, sobered up. The whole process took nearly 36 hours.

But oh no, that's not all, there's more: in his drug induced state he forgot to react to the swat of a cat claw and got it right in the eye, his GOOD eye. Luckily, or unluckily, we've been through this before and had some prescription drops left over and we began treatment immediately.

Tonight, he's back to his crazy antics and I couldnt be more happy to see him alive again. We think his eye is going to heal up fine too.

Needless to say, Kirstie and Victor feel pretty bad about the whole thing and will hopefully be making safer choices about drug use.

Gesemia Nelson

Learning is Fun, sometimes.

As a future educator I pay close attention to the attributes of good teachers. Whether its my husband teaching me to snowboard, watching my friend teach kindergartners the alphabet, or listening to college professors giving lectures I'm always taking notes. I've come to realize that the best teachers in the world give you the feeling that they are sharing something valuable with you, as though knowledge were little tasty bits of your favorite treat (mine would be cheese). They make you feel eager to be around them so you can have another bit of what they're sharing. They have a love of their field, a passion for what they do, that makes you feel lucky to learn from them. Another equally important aspect of a good teacher from kindergarten to graduate school or even an informal lesson is the ability to give your students the feeling of a job well done. Like telling your novice snowboarder she's improving every time she falls, or telling a kindergartner it was great of them to try the alphabet even though they missed a few letters, or a simple supportive nod to the college student who tries to participate in class.

Perhaps it was my unfortunate encounter with one of the worst professors I've ever had that made me realize what a great teacher really is. This semester I was excited to take a class on prejudice and discrimination but my excitement was instantly quelled on the first day of class by the professor, Gesemia Nelson. Dr. Nelson has none of the qualities listed above and actually makes an effort to be the opposite of a good teacher. She started the semester by subtly but purposefully letting the class know that she was Harvard educated. She spent the first day of class telling us how fortunate we were as students to be learning from her. Then, Dr. Nelson went on to explain the difference between a customer/service provider relationship and a student/teacher relationship, making the point that students don't have the same rights as customers to complain. And in an almost prophetic way, Dr. Nelson said she wasn't "here to make friends". During this first encounter with Dr. Nelson I could only imagine why she was saying all of this but it is at the end of a treacherous semester with her that my best guesses are substantiated.

In an upper-division class, such as this, we should have been able and even encouraged to participate in class discussion but this is not Dr. Nelson's forte as she found it nearly impossible to take a question or comment from the class without getting lost. Her distaste for veering off of her very structured, linear and dry lectures became visible on her face anytime a student offered a comment. Her best solution to this problem was not to become a more open facilitator but to allow the students one day to discuss the subjects among themselves for one class period. This was not only a pathetic attempt to make up for a semester of silencing us but was also unproductive. Though she may be Harvard educated and have a Doctorate under her belt at a young age Dr. Nelson clearly learned nothing about being a good teacher.

Dr. Gesemia Nelson, if you happen to read this someday I hope that you have either learned to become a better teacher or moved on to a profession that utilizes your strengths more adequately like a judge, probation officer, or prison warden.

It's going to be a long winter

Just as I was beginning to accept the soul stealing effects of fall it snows!

I am not happy.

Matrimonial Miff

When we started this whole wedding planning process I swore I wouldnt let it make me crazy. Well the wedding is only six weeks away now and I'm starting to lose it. I'm no bridezilla and I'm pretty easy going about the whole event. I didnt freak out when Juan got RSVPs wrong, I dont care that my orginal plan for decorations has to be changed for the sake of the budget, I dont care what kind of food we serve, or what the cake looks like or even if there is a cake. But I had no idea that the whole process, bridezilla or not, would be so damn stressful.

Anti-immigration is just plain ignorant

I am in agreement with the general public that there is no definitive answer to our immigration issues. What I can't seem to grasp is how anyone in this country can be "anti" immigration. Unless of course you are a Native-American you are either an immigrant or a decendant of immigrants, yes even you Mr. George W. So why can't we create a system in which our friends from the South have the opportunity to legally work themselves into citizenship of the country they are helping. In case you didnt notice they are helping us. Mexican immigrants support our economy especially in areas such as agriculture and construction where there is a need for hardworking manual laborers. I hope that the protests yesterday proved this.

Why hasn't anyone taken note of the fact that our government justifies spending a billion dollars a day on the war in Iraq to "promote democracy" and in essence help Iraqi citizens and at the same time our government wants to spend billions more to fight a war against illegal immigrants? Illegal immigrants who come here for opportunity and in turn give back to our economy. What has any Iraqi citizen done to deserve the "support" of our government? Of course those of us who are the least bit educated on the issue know the real reasons for the war but someone needs to call the Bush administration out on their hypocritical propaganda. How can our Government be so blatantly hypocritical and get away with it? Because America is full of feeble minded morons who eat spoonfulls of shit the Government serves us. Especially the growing anti-immigration groups who are using the immigration debate to spread racism and hate.

I saw on the news today that a group of rednecks in Arizona and Texas is taking the immigration issue into their own hands. They call themselves border guardians and have begun patrolling the border and even started erecting barbedwire fences to keep immigrants from crossing over (if only the American Indians had been as active). Their methods are fueled by racism, hate and just plain ignorance. The group's website connects illegal-immigration to communism (quite a leap of ignorance I'd say) and to protest this they "burn[ed] the flags of several Communist nations and deface[ed] the flag of Mexico". That sounds more like an act of hate than an approach to a solution. I respect any intelligent arguments about the immigration issue but have zero tolerance for ignorant people and groups such as this one.

Unemployed

For those of you who have not been in direct contact with me recently, I've been fired, yes, fired. Trust me this was as much a shock to me as it is to you. The details of my termination won't be discussed on my blog, at least not for now. What I can tell you is that the termination was unjust, unfair, absurd and felt a lot like a steel-toed boot kick to the jaw. At this point I'm still seeing stars and certainly seeing red. I go back and forth between sadness and extreme anger and sometimes a mixture of both that is starting to physically manifest itself in the pit of my stomach.

Right now I'm trying to rely on my shaken faith that justice will be done but I'm not holding my breath. It turns out I've learned a valuable lesson or two in the last week. First, most people are in this life to serve themselves. Self-serving people make terrible friends, co-workers, and citizens. I will do my best to keep my distance from these people. Second, bad things happen to good people. With the number of evil people in the world out weighing the good and the majority of those evil people in positions of power bad things are bound to happen to good people. Just one of those facts of life they always warned me about i guess.

I would like to thank my friends and ex-coworkers who took the time to comfort me. Thank you for your phone calls, emails, compliments and support. If my spiritual beliefs prove to be correct there should be a cushy place for you in the afterlife. Until then I guess all we can rely on is a feeble thing called faith.

Did you hear that? It's the sound of my faith in humanity being flushed down the toilet.

My whole life I held on to the belief that the world was governed by some spiritual energy. An energy that made sure wrongdoings never went unpunished and saw to it that good things happened to good people. Recent events have shaken me out of my idealistic fairy tale and thrown me into the depths of what I now recognize as reality. News Flash: The world is FUCKED UP! Evil people govern the world not Karma, not God, not the Mystical Justice Brigade, just evil people. Maybe my biggest mistake was seeing good in people perhaps the truth is that humans are inherently evil.

Have I wasted my time and energy trying to be a good person? I am by no means claiming to be a saint but I have never maliciously hurt another person either by my actions or lack of action. Today, I am dealing with people who are knowingly standing by and watching terrible things happen to me. They might as well be holding a waterhose while I burn to death in front of them. Can people really do this and sleep at night? Are integrity and ethics a figment of my imagination? Where is the justice in anything anymore?

People make me sick.

i'm thinking warm thoughts but i still have frost bite

If I remember correctly I moved to Colorado for love but right now love isnt keeping me warm. If you havent seen the latest Colorado forecast let me fill you in: ITS FUCKING COLD. Beyond Cold. What the fuck does minus 17 mean anyway? I'm so cold I cant even articulate my thoughts.

I'm cold.

Merry Christmas

A story about Cherry Creek and a dog named Botox

I should probably preface this by telling you all that I have a new position at work. Sorry I'm a slacker for not telling you that I am the new "career development coordinator" at [my company]. What does that mean exactly? Well it's a brand new position so we're still figuring it out. Basically, I'm helping our graduates get placed in salons and spas in the area and hopefully even outside the area. I'm putting together a career fair to help build relationships between our school and potential employers. I'm also going to be working with local highschools to get hs grads into our school. So that's my new position. Back to the story...

Yesterday I was to visit several salons/spas in the Cherry Creek area to let them know about our school, why we're so great, and why they should want to hire our graduates. I've heard enough about Cherry Creek to have my prejudices. If you're not from the area, Cherry Creek is a place where wealthy people segregate themselves from the rest of the world, so they can see who can put their nose highest in the air, it's also a place where wealthy coloradans pretend like they're shopping on rodeo drive, and everyone drives luxury cars. With this in mind I thought I should "dress it up" a bit. I slapped on my costume and mask but when I got there I realized I was fooling no one. With x-ray vision they see right through to the tag on your clothes and mine said "not designer". I think the fact that I walked like a normal person and less like I had a stick up my ass also gave it away. One of the salons I walked into had a particularly snooty owner with a really stupid accent that he forced to make himself feel cool. His judging little eyes made me feel icky so I ran out quickly. Back outside I was appreciating the warm sun and fresh air when I turned a corner and ran into a girl with a dog. She was wearing an outfit that screamed "i paid way too much for this, I'm a stupid whore". Okay, that last part might have been a stretch of prejudice but then she opened her mouth and confirmed it. She said to her dog, "come on Botox." I thought, "Surely, I imagined that". But then she said it again "Botox, this way, Botox over here..."
I began tapping my heels together and saying "there's no place like home, there's no place like home"... Clearly I do not belong in places like Cherry Creek. I concluded that in my previous life I must have traded my Tiffany and Prada for something more real, like a soul.

I was so happy to leave there. I came home ripped off my costume and reveled in the knowledge that I not only know who I am underneath it all I'm proud of it.

Wedding Woes

As the year 2006 creeps up on us people keep insisting that I start planning this wedding. Okay, Okay we should really get on that. We set a date and an approximate time (sept. 3rd at duskish, like 6:45). Then it was time for the guest list. In the beginning we said we'd keep it small, not realizing that the groom's list would be 10 times longer than mine. Being a state away from all of my friends and family makes it hard for all of them to make it. Sure it's only a state away and Dom's family is coming from allover the country but my family just doesnt have the money. I called my mom to ask her who might be able to make it and she basically told me no one. Except of course her, my dad, and my brothers. I'm mostly just upset that my aunt Maria and my Abuela won't be here. Besides my mom, they are the two most influential women in my life and it would have meant the world to me to have them here.

But the show must go on and so must the planning. I've picked out the dress, flowers, Dom's friend Lee will officiate, getting help with invitations (thanks, Juan), Megan Barry Photograpy for photos (really awesome ones, right megan?). I guess people want to see decorations so I'll get on that but it's not going to be spectacular, people. And if one more person asks me about "the color" I'm going to scream. There is no "color". Infact, I may just get a hodgepodge of things that dont match to piss everyone off.

So for those of you who get an invite and actually make it to the wedding just bring your party pants because it's going to be a grand mis-matched time.

Losing Composure

I pride myself in being mature and professional at work while still having a good time with coworkers. Today I lost my composure. Most of the people I work with are fantastic, sadly not all of them are. I have been patient, civil, professional, and even kind to the one non-fantastic person. What she lacks in personality she makes up for in the volume of her voice. The loud words that constantly flow from her mouth add nothing to the world and make me wish it were okay to ducttape coworker's mouths shut. I usually try my best to smile kindly and nod while my insides boil. Today her nonsensical rambling made me steam her laziness pushed me over the edge.

At closing, the duties were left to her and I. She completed one task and many still needed to be done so I was shocked when she took a seat complaning she was tired. I asked her nicely if she'd come help with closing when she snapped. I mean snapped like a crazy person! She said "NO! I have to sit down, I haven't sat down all day. Just let me sit!" It is at this point I believe the steam screamed out of my ears. I angrily stormed off and finished the tasks myself. Then she came up and started yelling at me, again, like a crazy person. There were many lines I could have crossed, many words I could have said but I remained reserved, mostly. I told her if she was too tired to help me close then she should just go home, I think I was being reasonable-right? This clearly was the wrong thing to say to the crazy person in front of me. She flipped out more, if that was even possible. Screamed louder, called me a child, told me to grow up, threw a trashcan. And then I lost it I just started laughing. The whole scene was obsurd. I wouldnt have anymore to do with this so I just turned around and ignored her. She left without completing anymore tasks as she was exhausted from screaming at me.

Nicole Versus the Elements

I woke up yesterday to the weatherman saying "arctic conditions". My first thought was that he was speaking of someplace far to the north-Alaska? Canada? Montana? But much to my dismay he was speaking of noneother than Denver, Colorado. That's right people, I'm facing arctic conditions. The high yesterday was 10 degrees! I'm not made for this. My people are from the warm depths of Mexico. Genetically, I'm just not designed to deal with this. Mentally, I can't even comprehend what minus-some-degree means. I'm almost ready to give in to the cold, just roll over and die. But other people seem to be surviving it so I guess I'll try this "layers" business and hope it works for the little mexican girl from Roswell.

Wish me luck, send me warmth.

More Medical Madness

Last week Dr. Scalpel Happy researched his 74 year old patient with a lump. He had found the mass one day and highly recommended it be removed the next. That next day, after some research, he discovered that my grandfather was on several medications some of which would make surgery even more unsafe. So the decision was made to take him off of the medications so that the surgery could be performed "more safely". This boggles my mind. First these doctors prescribe these medications arguing that he'll die without them. Now he has to stop taking them to undergo a dangerous procedure.

I understand what Doctors are here for and I understand that most of their decisions are lifesaving. In the case of my Grandfather I worry they may be giving him empty hope. He's putting his life in their hands, literally, but I don't know if he fully grasps the gravity of this situation. He will have this procedure done sometime this week and while I don't agree with the all of the decisions made I pray the doctors know what they are doing. I really want to see my grandfather for thanksgiving.

Quality of Life?

Today, life threatening decisions are going to be made and I fear the worst. Six months ago it was discovered that my 74 year old grandfather had health problems. It came as no surprise to us as we were all aware of the life he had led. He grew up in a village in Mexico lacking more than health care, it lacked roads, running water, and electricity. He also never received education about how to take care of his body and later as an American citizen his habits remained unhealthy. He spent most of his years here doing manual labor and eating tasty but health threatening foods. All things considered, this 74 year old man has had a full and long life.

In the last few months the wonderful world of medicine has transformed the grandfather I knew into a medicated zombie barely able to care for himself. On one of his many trips to the hospital they recently found what may or may not be a malignant tumor on his thymus. Yesterday the doctor convinced my grandfather that he needs to undergo life-threatening surgery to remove the mass, today! I argue that this is another senseless scheme for the doctors to fill their pockets. Even if they remove the mass, that may or may not be malignant, and even if his fragile old body makes it through the surgery he will still have a slew of other serious health problems to deal with. I begged my mom not to let him go through with the surgery but the family is torn. Some still see hope in having the surgery but the rest of us recognize the reality.

Am I a heartless granddaughter if I suggest they take him home and let nature take its course?

What I wanted to say is...

I'm OUT! I just quit my job, as in 4 seconds ago.

Sadly, this is going to be more like a divorce than a resignation. I have an office full of materials that I will need to return to them. They're going to ask me for an exit interview and I'm not sure if I will give it to them. I'm done, I quit. Do I really need to give them any more of my time? Besides what are we going to say to eachother? At the moment I don't have nice words to say to them. Should I go in there and tell them why I'm taking my experienced, talented, capable ass somewhere else? Should I go in there and tell them to shove Wyoming up their asses? Perhaps I should smooth things over, kiss some ass, thank them for the "opportunities", blah, blah, blah. Nothing I can say will make any of this easier or better. They'll be interviewing more willing prostitutes before I'm even gone.

At least I can say I left with my soul and sanity still intact.

all i can say is...

the beauty industry is an ugly business

Phone Rage

As technology claims to improve craftsmanship seems to be deteriorating. A year ago I upgraded to a new cell phone. At the time i asked for a non-flip phone but there were none. So i recieved a Samsung flip phone model #sch-a670. About a week ago the plastic hinge began to crack. I tried to treat her with care but her time came to an end this afternoon. In desperate need of a cell phone that works, i dragged my angry ass to the verizon store. Needless to say, my blood quickly boiled over as I spoke with the SALES person. I sadly held my dismantled old flip phone and explicitly said to him that i did NOT want another flip phone. As he walked me around it became clear that Verizon is hell bent on selling only flip phones. Of all the phones available only one was not of the flip phone variety. Disappointed with my lack of options i halfheartedly chose the only non flip phone available. Two hundred and some dollars later I'm the unpround new owner of another flimsy plastic phone by Samsung. But this time i opted to purchase phone insurance which i'm worried is just another scam to get more money out of me. For $200 dollars a pop couldnt they just afford to make a phone that works?

R Rated

My mom and i are fighting. She hasnt been this pissed at me since i was 16 and i got etchasketch dust allover the place. Ok that was a joke but this is serious. The otherday we get to talking about the Motorcycle Diaries, a movie i recommended she watch. Now, incase you dont know this my mom, for religious reasons, does not watch rated R movies. I told her this movie was a good rated R movie. They just kinda curse alot but the overall message makes up for it. Well, she said she could only watch part of it until the cussing got too bad. I was so pissed at her. I told her regardless of the rating of this movie it has a better story and message than most G rated movies out there. FUCK!

So she and i proceeded to have an argument about the "f" word. I argued that the "f" word cant hurt you, especially if its in a movie. At first our argument was light hearted, then suddenly she threw the book at me. Seriously, she started talking about the bible and God and Jesus. She said in my defense of the word fuck I was also defending other sins like murder! I love my mom to death, but seriously murder? Murder is wrong whether your christian or atheist, whether you live in a city or the jungle. The "f" word however has varying degrees of wrongness and meanings. Some examples:
To your grandma: "fuck!" =very wrong
to friends: "my grandma's cookies are fucking great" = not wrong at all
What's more is that any word can be a "bad" word if you use it in that context. And word's meanings change over time. Fuck, everything changes over time except apparently the bible. The bible really should have had a clause written in it that said "The core values are (this), (this), and (that) everything else will change over time, the end. love, God. p.s. heaven is fucking great!"

...with liberty and justice for all

Most days i'm only mildly disgusted with the hypocrisy of our nation, our government, and its citizens. This week I'm very ill and saddened with a recent decision our government has made. Just this week liberty and justice have been threatened by something called "eminent domain." According to this fox news report eminent domain basically means local governments can steal private property from one party and give it to another party who will generate more tax revenue. For example a family farm may be seized to make room for a super walmart. Its something that has been going on for a long time but in the past the federal government was involved. Now they've given the power to the local governments. Its sort of like giving a child free reign in a candy store. Scary thought, isnt it?
What's more is that this has been going on right under our noses for a long time. One day you drive past what you thought was a field and the next day there's a Super-something in its place, but what you didnt realize is that it used to be Mr. Hardworker's land. Perhaps it wasnt even Mr.Hardworker's land but just a beautiful view now replaced by an eyesore of consumerism. Perhaps that is our destiny, and this is not a curable disease. No more amber waves of grain, or purple mountain majesty. For the sake of the dollar bill they will be replaced with these tax generating monstrosities. So the next time you pass a farm or have the opportunity to see land unobstructed by walmarts observe a moment of silence for this beauty on the brink of extinction.