the Nonsense in Between

Horror Stories of the Four Legged Variety

After posting yesterday about Oni's chewing gum incident I was relieved to discover that he actually isnt the world's worst dog. Thanks to the horror story of a recently engaged pug owner, Oni has escaped the wok once again.

I'll admit that Oni once chewed up something pretty valuable but this little pug has seriously refined taste. They say pets are like their owners, or something like that, so it comes as no surprise that the girl who said, "i'd rather have the perfect diamond ring, than spend all that money on a wedding" got her "perfect diamond ring" swallowed by her dog.

I guess its not really all that bad, I mean, she will get her ring back...eventually. Plus its a hilarious story. I bet they're digging through poo right now.

Pets are funny.

Click to read about other wacky things dogs have eaten.

Man's best friend doubles as world's most effective birth control

It's no secret that our little Oni is a handful; from pneumonia, to giardia,The Weed Incident, the daily vomiting, weekly diarrhea...and now the latest Gum Incident.

Somehow, right under my nose, Oni managed to get into some chewing gum today but he didnt just CHEW the gum because that would have been the right thing to do. He somehow managed to get it ALL OVER himself!

I know that peanut butter is the best way to get gum out of hair and I assume it would work in Oni-fur but we have no pb since ours was thrown out during last month's salmonella outbreak. I think Goop Off might work but I'm afraid it's toxic. Pulling it out with my fingers proved to be impossible and it seems the sun bathing (which is what he's doing right now) is making the situation worse.

Any suggestions, before I shave my dog or donate him to the local Chinese restaurant?

The Adventures of Oni-Dog

As many of you know Oni's little life has been chock full of adventure. As his
"parents" Dominic and I have come to accept this but nothing could have prepared us for what happened yesterday.

Oni and I were hanging out all morning when my sister-in-law, Kirstie, and her boyfriend showed up. Shortly after they arrived Oni became very lethargic. At the time I just thought he needed a nap but when I went to take him for a walk he wouldn't even pick up his head. What dog doesn't respond to the W word? Strange as it was I still thought he was just sleepy so I picked him up to make him walk but he couldnt. He tried but his legs wouldnt work. MY DOG'S LEGS WOULDNT WORK!

I started thinking about our morning and wondering if he could have eaten something poisonous. The only time I wasnt watching him was when he was with Kirstie and Victor but by this time they had already left so i couldnt ask them what he might have eaten. I looked around for a half eaten bottle of pills or anything but I only found dog vomit. As I cleaned up the puke I did something without even thinking about it, something I wouldnt normally do, I smelled his puke. Yes, I picked up Oni's vomit and put it to my nose when I discovered my little guy's problem. His barf smelled like like a 420 convention. You guessed it; the ganga, the wacky tobacky, giggle weed, reefer, herb, MARIJUANA. But how much had he eaten? And who the fuck left weed where my dog could eat it? And how could someone let that happen? And what's going to happen to my dog? Will he die? Should I induce vomitting? Do i know how to induce vomitting?

I called Dominic and histerically spewed out my million questions. He searched the internet and we found some comfort in the information he found. It said to keep the little guy warm and hydrated and just wait for it to pass. But it also said to keep an eye on him incase he went comatose. So i took reefer dog to work and watched as he slowly; very, very slowly, sobered up. The whole process took nearly 36 hours.

But oh no, that's not all, there's more: in his drug induced state he forgot to react to the swat of a cat claw and got it right in the eye, his GOOD eye. Luckily, or unluckily, we've been through this before and had some prescription drops left over and we began treatment immediately.

Tonight, he's back to his crazy antics and I couldnt be more happy to see him alive again. We think his eye is going to heal up fine too.

Needless to say, Kirstie and Victor feel pretty bad about the whole thing and will hopefully be making safer choices about drug use.

Rescuing Basenji's since 2006

Dominic and I recently became foster parents for a sweet little basenji girl named Fossie. I'm not sure how it all started because I'm pretty sure our hands were full enough with Oni-dog and all of his problems but I guess our hearts are bigger than our hands.

A while back we contacted the Colorado Basenji Rescue and offered to open our home to a basenji in need. A couple of weeks ago the Rescue lady brought Fossie over to meet our family and see if she'd be a good match. Fossie and Oni hit it off instantly and that's how we became foster parents.

We are in love with little Fossie. She is a gentle, sweet, cuddly little basenji that even wags her tail when she greets you! However, these are not typical basenji behaviors and certainly not characteristic of Oni, though we love him anyway. We'd love to make Fossie a permanent addition to our family but since our situation is likely to change over the next few years we wont be able to keep her permanently.

Fossie is a perfect dog as she is potty trained (but in typical female fashion she pees four to five times as much as Oni) and knows several commands. She came to us only knowing "sit" but she's quickly learned "lay down", "shake", and "bang! bang!". I know she's capable of so much more.
If any of you are interested (or know someone who is) in a great dog contact the Basenji Rescue or email me at nicole0703 at gmail dot com.

Happy Birthday, Oni-Dog!

Today is Mr. Oni's first birthday. He doesnt know it but it's quite miraculous that he's made it this far.

We saved Oni from certain death when we purchased him from The North Washington Kennel. The conditions there are terrible and we'd never recommend anyone get a dog from them. When we met Oni we were not in the market for purchasing a dog but something pulled us to that awful place so that Oni could be saved. We brought him home and his
"nothing-to-worry-about-kennel-cough" turned out to be life-threatening pneumonia. We had to spend the first three months of his life shoving pills down his throat so he could survive.

Pneumonia behind us, our Oni saving days were not over. Oni has become an incredible escape artist often putting himself in danger. This summer, while fixing up Dominic's dad's house for the wedding, we had to find ways of keeping Oni in the yard and out of traffic. Everything failed. He even figured out how to get out of his harness, earning him the nickname Houdini (or Houdoni).

He dodged pneumonia and cars but was unable to escape the evil claws of a cat. The day before our wedding my little daredevil decided to pick a fight with a cat. Cat-1 Oni-0. The cat got him right in the eye and he nearly lost it. For a long time his injured eye stayed closed or squinted and is now a different color than the other one, earning him the nicknames Oni-One-Eye, and Only.

Moments like these make me think we should change that "Curiosity killed the cat" saying to "Curiosity killed The Oni". The dog is the most curious dog I've ever met. He is so interested in everything that he never relaxes and it leads me to believe that he is going to live a short life. At least I can say that it makes for an interesting home life as he continuously keeps us on our toes. If we dont give him enough attention he gets this look in his eye, his good eye, that says "I need intellectual stimulation or i'm going to find something very precious of yours and methodically and maliciously destroy it". Many dogs would be content with games like fetch, allowing you to zone out to prime time TV while satisfying your pooch with repetitive play. Oni, not so much. His favorite thing to do is learn the names of each toy and then be tested on his knowledge (He wants to go to Harvard when he grows up). He has quickly come to know the names of Bunny, Mouse, Loofa-dog, Fuzzy, Fox, Chewi, and Pinky.

Oni's vocabulary is quite extensive for a pup his age. Yet every time we say "No", "Down", "Stop", or "put that down before I call the Chinese Delivery kid to come pick you up" he looks at us like "je ne parle pas anglais".

His wild antics often elicit threats of abandonment, strangulation, and donation to the local Chinese restaurant. But before we can get our hands around his neck he does something charming to earn his keep in our hearts.

Oni, you're a damn lucky little dog. Damn lucky. Well except for nearly getting your whole penis bitten off by your biological mom, but like I promised I wont talk about that very sensitive subject anymore. Happy Birthday.