Since I am driving around the country all summer, I feel it's my duty to inform everyone out there of any dangers they may encounter in these united states. In light of this, I'd like to say that this one part of the Jersey Turnpike is a deathtrap. Avoid at all costs. Imagine a regular toll station, but imagine right you pay your toll, all 10 lanes have approximately 100 feet to get into the correct lane because the highway splits very quickly. So basically you have ten lanes of traffic, and approximately half the people in every lane need to get between 0-5 lanes over. All at once. At high speeds. Possibly on drugs. Also, there is this one on-ramp to a major, very busy highway in New York which, if used, will result in injury or death. Most on-ramps have a reasonably long tempory lane which you can drive in as you speed up and try to merge. But oh no, not this on-ramp. It has no lane. At all. You just drive up it and onto the highway at a 45 degree angle. If there happens to be a car blocking the entrance to the highway (and the entrance could be blocked by one car), I guess you slam on your breaks or sideswipe it. Fun for all. You'll notice I don't really remember exactly where these Indiana-Jones-quality booby traps of modern transportation are, I can't remember any exact names, details, or locations. So although I guess you don't know enough to avoid them, you do know enough to be scared.
I can't imagine being a parent. It's not the responsibilty that worries me at this point - it's the energy required. I love my younger cousins (they are 7 and 10 I think), but after hanging out with them for one day, I feel like I ran a marathon, climbed a mountain, got hit by a train, and then singlehandedly pulled this country out of our depression, all while wearing a rusty suit of armor. I have no idea how my aunt and uncle don't collapse every day around noon. And I'm 21. I'm supposed to be at my physical prime, and there is no way I could keep up with my cousins for more than three days, max. Parents should make rich yuppies pay to watch their kids, as part of a new weight loss and exercise program.
This is old news, but I'll still post it. While in Manhattan, we were discussing bad trips (planes, not drugs) and I actually heard a story that began, "You know the kind of diarrhea that kills people? . . . " The great thing about a story that begins like that is that you don't really need to hear any more to understand.
Posted by Ben at July 17, 2003 09:38 PM