Ok, to be completely fair, my current location information isn't quite correct. I'm not at Squam lake quite yet. But I didn't think I'd be able to update my weblog before I got there, so I figured it was close enough to true. Some of us unlucky suckers don't have an always available connection to the internet.
But by tomorrow I will actually be standing at Squam Lake, New Hampshire, and it is the most beautiful peaceful place I know. It will be a nice break from driving and my exciting life. Lots of hanging out by the lake on our dock, swimming, canoeing, boating, lots of fires in the fireplace (unless it's hot), lots of much-missed family time and lots and lots and lots of reading (at least by my usual standards). I am almost done with my current book (Cryptonomicon - highly recommended to any of you who are interested in computers, cryptography, and/or WWII). Next up - The Perks of Being a Wallflower and Prey both of which were recommended to me by people whose taste I respect. I'm looking forward to them.
Anyway, the lesson to be learned is that I probably won't be posting in the coming week, because Squam is very low tech. I might get one chance. This is ironic, because I usually think a whole lot while at Squam. So most of that will probably go in my paper notebook, not here. Well, if any of it is entertaining it might get here.
My butt is quitting on me! I used to be able to drive 15 hours with just a slightly sore butt - but I noticed in the first day of driving to New Hampshire that my right butt bone (actual medical name, anybody?) hurt like crazy. Throbbingly so. Not my left, just right. Why me? I think that years and years of putting an extra thick wallet (thick with extra junk, not actual money) in my right back pocket has permanently warped my ass. Can I sue the company that made my wallet? Of course. This is America.
My brother joined me on this leg of the trip. It was really nice to have someone to talk to for two days of driving, although I must admit it was also very strange - I almost had a hard time starting up conversation, because my car has been devoid of visitors for so long. And, given my current driving restrictions, it will probably remain devoid of visitors for a long time as well. Isn't it weird how family relationships change as you grow up? I've been lucky, because all of mine have changed for the better. The only thing I don't like about my brother is that in the past year in a half or something he started looking and sounding almost exactly like me. Confusion and hilarity have ensued. We're almsot doublemint material, but not quite.
I saw a sign in Kansas that read "Point of Interest, Next Right" - how much more vague can you get? What was there? Why were they so secretive about it? I almost pulled off to satisfy my curiousity, but then I realized that's exactly how they get ya.
I know that my random image viewer doesn't work right now. I was trying to change my pictures setup so that I can separate my pictures west coast pictures, east coast pictures, etc, so that the thumbnails page doesn't take forever to load. But this means that I had to change my random image viewer to handle directories, and I ran out of time. Hopefully I'll get a chance to fix it soon.
This is late, but a shoutout to Jessie and Jess for rockin the MCATS.
Random funny Mitch line:
"This shirt is dry-clean only. That means it's dirty."
So I haven't posted in a bit. To be honest, I haven't been in much of a posting mood, because the last few days have not been so fun. I got pulled over (again), this time in Kansas. The ticket is for doing 85 in a 70. As a result, I've been blindingly mad at myself for about 3 days and felt sick to my stomach for just as long.
Over the past few days, I imagined my summer plans crashing and burning before my eyes, as well as my senior year. That's because for a long time I didn't know if my license was going to be suspended or for how long. Of course that would mean no more summer trip plus I would have to have people drive me around for anything I needed next year. Nothing is for absolutely sure right now, but the current situation looks like my license is not going to be suspended, but my financial situation will be in trouble after paying the ticket plus higher insurance rates for who-knows how long.
This was definitely a case of "oh, it won't happen to me." Even after my horrible experience with my ticket last year, I didn't learn. It's so scary - the reality of life is that you can ruin so much hard work and planning with a single mistake. You can work hard for years in college and then cheat in a moment of desperation and get an F or worse. You can not drink and drive your whole life and then have one too many and hit someone. I was lucky because my mistake was much less serious, but it still scares me. I almost destroyed my summer road trip, something I have been planning and working on for months and months. I almost lost a chance to see my friends and my girlfriend.
Why? Why was I speeding so much? The reasons are stupid, which makes me even more mad. First of all - it's absolutely no one's fault but mine. End of story. I'm the one who went too fast.
But I think part of the reason that I speed is that I didn't think for myself. A lot of my friends speed, as dumb as this is, I didn't want to be the slowpoke, I didn't want to be the wuss. I liked the feeling of getting places faster than others, of taking risks. I wanted to speed more than my girlfriend does. I don't believe that laws determine what's right and wrong, and so in a way, I thought they didn't apply to me. That's dumb. You can be as careful as you want, but when you break the law, you have to accept that you may be caught at some point. And accept that as part of your actions.
So I guess the point is that I screwed up and almost lost everything that made this summer worth everything I gave up for it (i.e. the experience, money, and recommendations a good job hopefully would have given me). One more moving violation - anything at all, and it's over, my license is suspended. So for at least a very very very long time, I'm driving like I'm taking my driver's test. No speeding, no rolling through stops signs, nothing. NOTHING. I agree that it's highly improbable that I will get a ticket for doing 5 over. That's not the point. The point is that it's POSSIBLE, and at this point, it's not worth the risk. As a result of this decision, I strongly suggest that no one drive with me, because riding in my car will give most people an aneurysm within 5 minutes, including me. I personally hate driving at this point. This also goes for anyone wanting me to follow them anywhere - expect to go exactly the legal speed limit or below. If that's not cool with you, find someone else to drive. Don't ask me to break any laws, no matter how minor. It's not worth it. I'm really sorry to everyone out there for making everything so difficult.
I have always said that worrying and regretting are total wastes of time. Worrying about something doesn't help, instead, I should be trying to solve the problem. That's what I tried to do with this ticket - I tried to ignore my feelings about it when I got it, I just started evaluating my options and figuring out the best solution. Now that the best solution is more or less coming together (it's still not that great, but at least I will almost certainly finish out my trip - thank God) all that worrying, anger, and shame is coming back. I try to feel the same way about regrets - I believe it's useless to regret anything (you can't change anything), instead I think I should learn from the experience and move on. Yeah. It's easy to say that, it's hard to actually not worry till I make myself sick and regret until I lose myself in the mistakes of the past.
I forgot to mention - last night's funniest moment was when Dom blew the circuit breaker twice blow drying his hair right before the party started. Danny almost had a stroke the second time he had to restart the server because Dom wanted his hair to look pretty.
For some reason, when I party in Boulder, I party waaaaaaay too hard. Anyone remember the party here over Spring Break? Yeah, it was kinda like that. Apologies to everyone I said something idiotic to and thanks to everyone who helped me out. The night went basically as follows:
Talk. Drink. Talk. Drink. Drink. Drink. Drink. Puke. Puke. Sleep. Puke. Sleep. Sleep. Sleep. Sleep. Puke. Pain. Pain. Pain.
So I woke up this morning with a hangover that is in the running for the worst hangover I've ever had. And what did I do to cure that hangover - that's right, seven hours of a punk rock concert. It hurt to breathe for a long time and my stomach attacked me for a few hours, but I eventually felt better and enjoyed an awesome concert of punk rock goodness. I got to see Less Than Jake, Dropkick Murphys, Suicide Machines, Mest, and Rancid, amongst other bands. Rancid ruled. I mean ruled. Amazing. I came back with some minor injuries, including a sore jaw (got headbutted in my jaw), bruised head (lots of crowdsurfers landing on me and also kicking me in the head), and various bruises and rugburn from other people in the pit . . . .all of that means that I was sufficiently energized and so was the crowd. Now it's time to kick back, enjoy Dan's new hot tub that some of Shandling 41 helped buy (in a very small part) and get up way too early to drive to Illi.
Nothing makes me happier than a certain person telling me that this page is "best damn thing since peanut butter in a tube" and that it's now her home page. Rock on readers.
The Grand Canyon was, not surprisingly, really freaking cool. It's too good for pictures, although lord knows I tried. It's also too big for words, and since I have other things to talk about, I won't even try. See it.
It's strange - I assumed that I would have a tough time staying awake while driving on this trip. This prediction was based on the fact that when I drive between Springfield and St. Louis, I almost always nearly fall asleep. Yet on this trip I've been wide awake most of the time - without the help of drugs. Sleep mystifies me.
I heard Nelly played at a club in San Diego the other night. Ilana and I both turned to each other with delight - for some reason, although I don't know Nelly or hang out with him and did nothing to help him succeed, including buy his CDs, I feel some swell of pride since I go to school where he lives. I'm a dork.
I hope everyone out there realizes how much danger I put myself in to bring you my random and pretty much useless observations on life. Usually I think of something while driving, and since my memory is crap, I have to write it down immediately, which means I need to find my notebook and a pencil and write down some notes, all at high speeds while passing cars. Interestingly, once I write it down, I usually don't think about it anymore, which I find strange. I think perhaps it's easier for me to make progress on a topic if I am writing about it - it lets me collect my thoughts and organize them. If I just randomly think of something while driving, writing it down in my notebook is like putting it in the "I'll think about and deal with that later" box.
I think my biggest fear is losing pictures or writing. Before I left for this road trip I managed to accidentally delete some very important pictures - I won't ever forgive myself for that. And there is nothing worse than losing 30 minutes of writing because the computer shuts off or something. To me, there's nothing more tragic than an heartfelt letter lost or left unread.
Yesterday was by far the worst day of driving ever. Pretty early in the afternoon I stopped to get gas, and took the time to clean my windshield, which I usually don't do. Sure enough, about a half hour later my car was splattered with the largest volume of airborn goo I have ever seen. I say "goo" because I'm still not sure if it was a bunch of large bugs or shit from a very large bird. Neither really fits perfectly. Here's the evidence in support of each hypothesis
Swarm of Bugs
----------------------
- Right before it hit, I saw what looked like a swarm of black bugs fast approaching my windshield
- Goo splattered in a lot of marble size drops, not in larger chunks
- very clear, which doesn't look like bird crap usually does
- it would have had to be a pretty damn big bird to produce the volume of goo to cover my hood, windshield and part of the top of my car
Bird shit
----------------------
- I didn't see any wings or other organs in the mess, it looked pretty clear
- why was there a swarm of bugs chillin on the highway?
- it seems a little liquidy to be bugs, and clear
So yeah I'm confused.
Then the traffic going to Alberqueque was bad - I usually stay in the passing lane (that's the left lane, for those who don't know - which is most of the people in New Mexico, apparently) because I usually go faster than most - but the Funkmobile has trouble getting up hills quickly, so sometimes as I go up a hill I get the fast people really close behind me before I know it - and of course, like a gentleman, I move out of the lane as soon as I realize I am slowing people down. Well this one guy in a red car just blew past me going up a hill - he almost hit me as I was switching lanes. The joke was on him, though, because when I caught up to him a little later his hood was smoking - don't worry, it didn't explode or anything, he just had to pull off.
Ok the really bad stuff came later when I was about 10 hours into the drive. I was completely exhausted and sick of driving like nothing else. Right as I was crossing from New Mexico into Colorado, I hit the worst driving conditions of the trip so far, by far. I mean awful - it was completely dark, raining really, really hard, and in a construction zone that forced me to drive half on the shoulder - plus the cars coming the opposite way were close to my left side, and refused to turn off their brights, which effectively blinded me every few seconds. It was great. Then I hit more traffic at the end which dragged on at about 30mph for a good half hour. Yay.
To make matters worse, I was more frustrated than I have been in a long time because my crappy phone gets terrible reception and as a result, I hadn't been able to talk to Jessie in like five days. We tried two times that night but she kept cutting out and I couldn't understand anything she said.
So I was pissed about that and I was driving though some city. The speed limit was 55 and I was going 65 since it was pretty much a highway. Then I saw a sign that indicated that the speed limit was now 50. As I started to gently press the brake, I saw those beautiful blue and red lights in my rear view. I pulled over and cop informed me that I "going way too fast - 65 in a 50" which was completely true, although the fact of the matter was that I had been in the 50 for all of about one second. He added "You have to be careful, the speed limit changes pretty fast in the city." He was right. Anyway, of course I couldn't find my registration for the longest time, and the whole time he was grilling me on the details of my trip - when I had left, where I had left from, where I was going, if I knew where I was going in Boulder, how long I had been away from home - and not in that curious way, but in a way that made me feel like he was hoping to find a hole in my story and use it to prove I was trafficing drugs or something. But overall he was nice and he didn't even give me a ticket, so I can't complain. The rest of the drive I was driving like under the speed limit because I was so paranoid.
But now I'm in Boulder and I have books and Tetris and candy and Warped Tour is in a few days and I'm gonna see Hulk tonight and talk to Jessie all is good.
I just realized that I'll be in Connecticut on the 27th and I'm in San Diego this morning. That means I'll be driving across pretty much the entire continental U.S. in around 10 days. Wish me luck . . . .
Oh. My. God. Partying with Ilana and her friends was crazy fun. We were celebrating Ilana's friend Natalie's 21st. Key elements of the night included:
- An amazing dinner at Natalie's house
- A ridiculous dessert courtesy of Natalie's pastry chef sister (it was a cake that sells for $108 in her restaurant)
- 11 crazy girls and me stuffed into the back of a limo with an open bar
- a fun dance club/bar where we met up with a bunch of other friends, including some very cool guys
- drinking
- dancing
- fun fun fun
Can you see how cool this was?
Ilana also took me to an In-N-Out burger! How cool is that!? I know it's probably not that big a deal for those of you who live in California, but for me, having never seen one, and being such a huge Big Lebowski fan, it was like being in the movies. They have a killer grilled cheese that's only like a buck fifty. It's not at all what you might expect, but it rules.
I got to walk along the beach in Pacific Beach today, which was fun. Despite the fact that the water is freezing, there were a ton of people swimming and surfing, and a surprisingly high percentage weren't wearing wet suits. People are idiots.
I got two new CDs today. Usually its against my rules to buy two CDs at once, because I tend to not really get into either of them (spread my listening too thin, I guess), but they were only 8 bucks apiece! I got the new Less Than Jake and an old Livind End CD. I'm promising to not open the Living End CD until I get to New Hampshire, which will be a couple weeks from now.
Jessie is currently in North Carolina - she'll probably be in the Atlantic ocean within a week of when I was in the Pacific, meaning we are pretty much as far away as we could be within the continental U.S. That must be why I ache so bad all the time.
Driving down the pacific coast highway (highway 1) is both slow and dangerous. I highly recommend it. It's slow because it's winding, and they have little gravel turnoffs like every 100 feet where you can stop and take pictures, and I probabably stopped at at least 10 of them. It was dangerous because I was trying to look out the window the entire time without falling off the cliff. If you ever have a chance, definitely do it, at least for an hour. It's beautiful.
A tip if you ever go - gas up before you start. I started with pretty much a full tank of gas but not quite. There are only a few gas stations along the way, at least in the northern part that I was in, and they charged like $2.70 a gallon.
I saw a highway entrance that only went one way, east. That was cool, usually you have a choice to go east or west on a highway, (or, alternately north or south) so it was cool to only have one option. If it had gone west it would have gone right into the ocean.
I also saw a sign that said "Worlds Largest Parking Lot" at a gas station - and this gas station was in the middle of nowhere. I wish I would have gotten a picture of it. The sign, that is, not the parking lot itself, because I looked around a ton and saw nothing I would consider a parking lot. I don't know if there used to be a parking lot there, or if the sign was supposed to refer to the large amount of flat dry land around the gas station or what. If there was a parking lot, I can't imagine why it needed to be so large, since there was nothing worth parking for within 100 miles of that gas station. Lots of parking usually requires lots of interest in something. Not for these folks, they make their own rules.
Yesterday I made a visit to Berkeley, CA to see the University of California, Berkeley. Makes sense. I continue to go back and forth on whether I want to go directly to graduate school right after college or whether I should take some time off (that's a nice long discussion in itself) but I figure as long as I am traveling around the country I might as well visit some schools. At this point, I would say that Berkeley would be my top choice - it's an incredibly good school for computer science, its got amazing graduate programs in a ton of other areas (i.e. lots of smart non-computer nerds to hang out with), its less expensive than some private schools, and its in a great part of the country.
However, my visit to Berkeley was discouraging. First of all, I learned that last year they had 3100 applicants for graduate studies in computer science. They only have roughy 100 slots. Ouch. I had no idea it was that competitive. I really admire people who see difficult situations in their future and just take them on - I hear something like the above fact and I get sick to my stomach. I doubt I would get in, and even if I did, I would have to do such amazing work to keep up with my peers. It's so incredibly intimidating to me.
Also, the computer science representative at Berkekley was not as helpful as possible. Let's start at the beginning. A few days before I visited, I sent an email to the graduate admissions people in the department of computer science letting them know I was coming and requesting to meet someone at their convenience to talk about the graduate program and generally show me around. They replied and said I didn't need an appointment, that I could come in pretty much any time during the day and they would be able to help me out. This sounded great. However, when I showed up at the office I was directed to, the exchange went something like the following:
[I ring bell]
Man: Can I help you?
Me: Uh, yes. I was told to come here so I could talk to someone about the graduate program in computer science. To sort of find out about the program, facilities, etc.
Man: Oh, I can help you.
Me: Oh, that's great. Thanks.
Man: Go ahead and sit down. . . . . so, what do you want to know?
Me: Um. . . [pause] well I guess I don't have a list of specific questions. I was just wondering kind of . . . well I guess what the facilities are like. . . what kind of research is going on. . . .
[ Now I need to interrupt my story to explain the expression on this guy's face. There are basically two kinds of looks people can give you when you are answering a question. One is the "knowing nod", the kind of look that lets you know that they are listening, and even that you can shut up because they understand what you are getting at. The other is that pained look that tells you that they have no idea what the hell you are saying - they kind of squint their eyes and pull their head back and generally have a sour look on their face as if they are trying to pass some rather sizeable pointy object through their lower digestive tract. This guy's face was frozen in the second position, which made me feel a need to keep babbling, desperately blurting out topics, hoping and praying he would stop looking at me that way and understand what I was trying to say. I never had any luck.]
Man: Well what kind of computer science are you intersted in?
Me: Well, I'm not exactly sure. . . .I'm kind of interested in networking and security, I guess. And just generally programming stuff.
Man: Well, we have over 90 faculty, and they all do their own research. So I'm sure you could find a place to fit in.
Me: Well is their any topic of research that's especially active here?
Man: Well, like I said, they all kind of do their own thing. And I mean, it's all on the web. I mean really, sitting at any computer in the world, you would find more out about us by looking at our website than you would by actually coming here.
Me: Uh, I see.
[Much more painful discussion and awkward silences ensue. Eventually he suggests that I just walk around the computer science building, which I end up doing.]
Now I don't know exactly what I was expecting, but it wasn't that. I was figuring they would have something like they do for prospective undergrads, where they try to sell you on the university by telling you all about it - when it was founded, why its so great, recent notable events and awards, etc, etc, etc. But oh no. Getting this guy to tell me about compsci at Berkeley was like pushing a car. With square wheels.
In happier news, Lewis and Josh took me around San Francisco today. It was lots of fun. We went to a Sony center where we could play Sony playstation for free, which was amazing. I had a lot of ten year olds watching me play and giving lots of unsolicited advice on what I was doing wrong, which was cool. I got to play the new Matrix game, and a snowboarding game and see a whole bunch of other ones.
I like how people in San Francisco park their cars. They don't find a need to commit to either the street or the sidewalk, they do a little of both. So you see a lot of cars with their left side in the street, and their right side up on the sidwalk, so the whole car is sort of tipped, and the car is taking up the vast majority of the sidewalk. I don't know how this got started, but I think its great - it's like their is some rule that says that as long as you have at least one tire in the street, you can park however the hell you want to, and people just ran with it.
Lewis and Josh also took me to just about every cool place for a view in San Francisco. We went up streets that were as steep as rollercoasters and then had awesome views of the city. We went to an old naval base that looked back at the city. We saw Alcatraz and the Golden Gate bridge from afar. We even went driving up in the rich neighborhoods in the hills and saw amazing houses with amazing views. We even saw some house with a Rolls Royce parked out front. When I get a couple million bucks, I have some good ideas about how to spend it.
Lewis sold his laptop to a guy over the internet, and today we had to drop it off. This guy did not put a high priority on social graces. He kept us at his apartment for like 1.5 hours, and he kept asking Lewis computer questions in rapid-fire mode, often not waiting for a complete answer to his previous quesion, and very often asking the same question multiple times over the course of our stay. He also at one point walked into the room while changing his pants, at which point the following was overheard:
Guy's wife: "He's not very modest."
Guy: "What?"
Guy's wife: "Well, you're walking in here in your underwear."
Guy: "What? Oh. Well, these guys have been in a locker room. I mean, if they haven't seen some other guys' dicks by now, there is something wrong with them."
The transaction was nothing short of completely professional.
Well, it looks like we aren't going to see Castro street at night after all. We were planning on going, but we all came back and fell asleep and didn't have the energy to drive back to San Francisco again. Oh well - it would have been quite an experience to see the proverbial burning sun of the gay solar system here, but we did see it during the day - and as Lewis said, it'll be something we'll check out when I come back sometime. Now that's something to look forward to.
It's been so long since I've seen the ocean. I'm glad I did.
NOTE: The reason this post is kinda random is because its just a collection of my thoughts and adventures from the past two days of driving.
So I've been driving for about 20+ hours in the past two days. In these 20+ hours, I've been thinking a lot, although not as much as you might expect. You'd think that with all that time, I'd solve many of the major issues in my life, or philosophize deeply, or come to great conclusions concerning my life or school or even my computer science research. This is not really the case. Some thoughts, especially computer science/research type thoughts, tend to require some physical medium to temporarily store my thoughts, such as a computer or at least a notebook. Big philosophical questions tend to be difficult to work out alone - it helps to have someone else to bounce ideas off or to input new ideas.
So a lot of the time I end up listening to music, which just lets my mind drift from the lyrics to things that the lyrics remind me of, such as memories or movies or other pop culture references. Have you ever just let your mind wander and then suddenly realize that you have been thinking about some odd topic for 10 min and you have no idea how you got on that topic? And you have to try to trace your thoughts back? Well, I have.
Speaking of music, does anyone know any good road trip songs? They don't really need to refer to anything about road trips, but maybe they make you think of road trips or otherwise capture the spirit of the road, whatever that means. Here's some I kinda like to listen to on the road, in no particular order. Not all of them even really make sense in reference to road trips.
Jimmy Eat World - Blister
Stone Temple Pilots - Interstate Love Song
Tom Petty - Last Dance with Mary Jane
Smashing Pumpkins - 1979
Counting Crows - A Long December
So camping alone is quite an adventure. I stayed in a campground area with quite a few memorable characters. There was the couple in the tent next to me, who didn't speak much English, but were very friendly and even took a picture of me and my tent. There was the touring ska band with their skateboards and crazy hairstyles. I got in to the campground at around 8, and set up my tent, which I think was last used in the 80s and still has the musty smell, even though I frebreezed the hell out of it before I left. I also went swimming in the camp pool around 9, which was kinda a mistake, because there was not enough clorine in that pool to meet sanitary state standards. I swam the whole time with my head outta the water because the water scared me. Then I went and showered at like 10. The bathrooms were big and scary and I am paranoid so I imagined all kinds of scenarios that usually take place in prison, so I kept my pocketknife near me. Luckily, nothing happened.
Blogging is a weird thing - I really have no idea who is reading this. It's not really like writing in a journal, where I know what I write will most likely not be read by anyone, or at least only those I give it to. But now I'm writing my thoughts with no idea of who is reading . . . which is especially weird when I write things that are inside jokes for certain friends, who may or may not be reading. If you feel like it, you can comment to this post and say something so I know who is reading. Or if you prefer to remain anonymous, fine. I know some of you are reading, because I've seen your comments, and they have made my proverbial day.
Isn't it weird how pictures really can't capture a lot of things? I've seen some amazing things on this trip and I've taken a lot of pictures, but most of those pictures are about 1/100 as cool as what I see. The camera can't really capture the immensity of mountains or valleys, the heat shimmering off the road, or the richness of the colors of the clouds. Plus, it can be hard to get good pictures while you are driving next to a semi at 80+ mph. You can't really compose like you would like to. Tragic.
I bought a bottle of caffeinated water today. It said on the side that it was just water with tasteless caffeine. Uhhh, no. Caffeine definitely has a taste, and lemme tell you, it's not good. I can see why caffeinated water never really caught on too much. As a side note, caffeinated gum is pretty gross too. Go all out and get caffeinated soap (soaks in through your skin) because you would never put that in your mouth. Then again, if a mother makes her kid wash his mouth out with that soap, she is probably in for more bad behavior in the near future, and that kid is destined for ridalin.
Rest areas in Nevada are quite a bit different than in the midwest. I'm basing this observation off the one Nevada restop I visited. In the midwest, a rest stop may have, but are not limited having
1) Bathrooms
2) Vending machines
3) And enclosed air-conditioned building, usually containing said bathrooms.
4) Maps and brochures of local attractions
5) Benches and eating areas
In the Nevada rest stop I stopped at, there was only
1) Two bathrooms, which were only big enough for one person apiece, and were really not bathrooms in the sense you might be thinking, unless you are thinking a hole in the ground with toilets built on top of the hole, contained in a shed made of thick plywood.
2) A small table outside. The table is downwind of the bathrooms, by the way. Ugh.
Also in Nevada, I met a very nice lady at a gas station. She seemed to be a grandmother, and did not let the fact that I was a complete stranger stop her from talking to me for almost 10 min about life in general. She wanted to know if I was really from Illinois (she saw my license plate) and then went on and on about how great California is. Then she decided to give me a big hug. She was nice, so I gave her a hug, but I'm also paranoid, so I checked for my wallet and other items right afterward. They were still in my pocket.
California is awesome.
I recently posted some pictures from Ft. Collins, so I'll address at least one pressing issue brought up by said pictures.
The first rule of Fight Club is you do not talk about Fight Club.
The second rule of Fight Club is you do not talk about Fight Club.
The third rule is that you should never have fight club in a small room with sharp corners and working water heaters.
The fourth rule is that if you are using boxing gloves, you should really invest in two pairs, instead of having the fighters use one glove each round, switching back and forth between right and left.
The fifth rule is that alcohol should be used sparingly. Under no circumstances should Fight Club happen right after Power Hour.
The sixth rule is that the ungloved hand should not be used under any circumstances, no matter how much you want to.
The seventh rule is you should never let anyone take pictures of Fight Club.
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I don't really understand the bar scene. Somebody please explain it to me. I've gone about five times since I have been 21, and it's already losing its appeal. I guess I get it if you are trying to meet a guy or a girl. I also understand it if it's a club and you are going out to dance. But just sitting at tables drinking with your friends? Can't you do that a lot cheaper and with a lot less extra outside noise at home? Plus you can play the music you want. Dave and Busters is fun, because there are video games to play (check out wastedbrains to see video of Smoker dancing and me boxing!) Maybe I'm just not cultured, but the bars seem like some sort of tall tale for the under 21 kids.
So I was watching the "100 Most Shocking Moments in Rock and Roll History" on VH1. The number one was the death of John Lennon. This got me thinking a lot about death for obvious reasons.
Am I scared of death? Not really. Although that's easy for me to say now, since I don't think I'm going to die anytime soon. I'm more scared of dying, especially in painful ways. While I was in line at Six Flags with Galemba, we heard some kids asking each other if they would rather
a) burn to death
b) freeze to death
c) drown to death.
First of all, I'm not really sure how you drown not to death. I thought the word drowning implied death, but perhaps these kids really appreciate the value of parallelism at all costs. Personally, I'd have to take b, although it's a really tough choice. None of them sound pleasant. A lot of people say that they would like to die in their sleep or be shot without knowing its coming, something quick and painless, but not me. You wouldn't get to say goodbye to friends and family that way. No, I'd prefer to know about 1 month ahead of time, but still have it be painless. That way, I could have all my friends and relatives visit and say goodbye to each and every one of them. Nothing left unsaid, no regrets.
I wonder how I'll feel about the afterlife as I near death, because right now I don't believe in any. To some, that's a scary idea, but I don't really understand that. As a very smart and perceptive friend put it (quoted roughly), "I didn't feel anything before I was born, and that wasn't scary. When I die, it'll be like that. There's nothing to be scared of because I won't be anything." The idea of not existing is certainly weird and hard, or even impossible, to really grasp, but not scary. It's kind of a kick in the butt when you believe that there is no afterlife - you realize that this life is all there is, so you better make the most of it. There isn't any feeling of "yeah, maybe my situation on earth isn't so good, but that's ok, because when I die, it will all be better." Instead, you feel like you better make the very most of what you have here, because that's it. Just one run.
Of course, not believing in an afterlife makes the death of loved ones much harder. It's comforting to think that you will meet someone again. And really really sad and scary to believe that you won't. No one wants to say goodbye, most of all me. I never have any words of comfort or advice to those who have lost someone, and I have a really tough time dealing with loss in my own life - but, on the other hand, believing that you are truly saying goodbye to someone when they die makes you even more inclined to really make a difference in each others' lives while they are alive. There is no putting it off, because this time is all we get with our friends & family. So live with them and love them as much as you can.
I guess part of this all is that I respond really well to deadlines - if I don't have to do something by a certain time, I'll put it off forever. Death represents the ultimate deadline for me, and it pushes me to live my life to the fullest. I don't want to find myself about to die and have things I wish I would have done or said, and realize I'll never have the chance. In the words of Lennon
"Imagine there's no heaven,
It's easy if you try,
No hell below us,
Above us only sky,
Imagine all the people
living for today..."
Overheard:
[JF and BH are discussing how easy job applications usually are]
JF: "Yeah, maybe there would be characters on the application."
JL: "Characters?"
JF: "Yeah, circles and triangles and all that stuff."
JL: "Those are shapes, [JF]."
Overhead:
JL: "When did Aspen start liking 'fetch' so much?"
AM: "Ever since she was a golden retriever."
I'd like to add that those quotes were approximations of what was said exactly. I didn't write them down right away, and my memory sort of fails me. You can email me with corrections.
A shoutout to the loyal readers out there who helped explain the wonders of evolution to me.
Sometimes it's not always the best idea to get the best possible value. For example, all-you-can-eat deals. There comes a certain point where, yes, you will get more food for your money if you continue eating, but your stomach might burst like that guy in Seven. Another example - if you pay for an hour of bowling, its not the best idea to bowl five games in that hour, especially if the lane is shady and doesn't stock any balls that weigh less than like 20 pounds. I think my right arm is now a bit longer than ole lefty.
Last night, I found out that Ft. Collins (i.e. Fort Fun) has what the Koreans would call a PC baang. A PC baang, for those of you who aren't in the know, is like an arcade, but with computers all networked up. So there are maybe twenty-five really fast computers, and they are all networked together, so you can play huge team games of say, Warcraft III or Planetside (yeah, Kristin). Or you can just use their really fat pipe to the internet. You pay by the hour to play games. Anyway, these things are super popular in South Korea, which, by the way, is a nerd's heaven, since really good Starcraft players are paid to endorse chips and soda and stuff. But my "friend" Jesse neglected to tell me about this place until the night before I left! I could have been living it up, indulging my nerdy side. It's a tragedy of epic proportions. Seriously though - Jesse showed me one hell of a time in Ft. Collins.
Overheard:
[outside the PC baang]
Me: "It's usually about five bucks an hour to play games."
JL: "So are all those guys playing games against each other?"
Me: "Yeah, mostly. Some of them are just playing games by themselves."
BH: "And some of them are just playing Solitaire and using Paint."
I'm sure someone with more knowledge in biology and evolution can explain this to me, but the whole evolution thing is so weird to me. Specifically, it's strange that animals have an incredibly wide variety of attributes to adapt to their surrounding, many of which are highly complex and unique - chameleons' color-changing skin, snakes' venom, armadillos' armor, etc, etc. Yet at the same time, the variation among higher animals (fish, reptiles, birds, mammals) is very very very limited. There are certain features that almost all those animals share - similar internal systems such as skeletal, respitory, and circulatory, as well as external features such as two eyes, one mouth, a head, some ear and nose structures. Most animals have four appendages. Why do some animals have such incredibly evolved and specialize traits, yet no animal has three eyes? Or extra legs? Wouldn't those be beneficial too? Or an extra genitailia, in case of injury? There are many strange structures that would help creatures survive. Yet for the most part, we seem to be all very similar in very important ways. Why do we not see more variety? Evolution is so simple in principal, yet it produces such immensely complex results and trends. Again we see that simple rules can create great complexity. . .
Overheard:
"Maybe it's just really quiet." - BH, trying to explain the behavior of a microwave, which he had yet to realize was broken.
Overheard:
Me: "Did your heart skip a beat?"
JL: "Not really. Not anymore than it usually does when I leave you in charge of something important with a small margin of error."
It's scary how dependent I am on the internet. Yesterday I needed it to get directions, check my email, update my weblog, amongst other activities. The new house I am staying in doesn't have internet, and no one seems as concerned about this as I am. What's wrong with them? The internet is my teacher, friend, and partner in crime.
Blogging is somewhat of a strange practice. It's got a very journalish feel, so I'm inclined to just put my raw thoughts out there, but of course, some of my thoughts are rather personal and involve other people, some of whom I'm not sure would appreciate me putting observations about them up for the whole world to see. Can you imagine dating someone who was blogging about how the relationship was going? You would be able to go to a web site and possibly learn more about your relationship than by talking to that person, especially in the early stages of a relationship. Strange.
Who's excited about the Hulk movie? I am. Although it distresses me a little that the Hulk is putting his name on so many questionable products. Hulk hot dogs? Hulk chocolate syrup? Now I don't like to use the word "sell-out" - all I'm saying is that before, the Hulk was really in it for the wanton destruction of property and injury of others. And, of course, for the fans. But with all this new fame, I'm afraid he's really toning down that reckless rampage style that was his thing, and going for a new, more "comfortable" approach, something that more accessible to the mainstream, especially the hotdog and chocolate syrup buying crowd. Sigh. Well, he's gotta make a living, just like everyone else.
Today I'm writing from a computer lab I shouldn't be in, using an account that's not mine! I'd also like to note that I helped break into a house last night. Both of these activities were the result of:
a) necessity
b) seeing "The Italian Job" last night
I'm waaaaay too influenced by movies, especially those featuring illegal activity. After watching "Rounders" I wanted to be a poker player. After watching just about any heist movie, I want to put together elaborate plans to steal cool stuff, where each person on my team would have a cool specialty. And after seeing "Hackers" I really wanted to camouflage my laptop and say things like "It's got a killer refresh rate" and "Yeah, RISC is good."
But tragically, I'm not that cool. I'm updating my blog from a CSU lab in some business school. "Sneaking in" involved letting myself in through their unlocked doors and I'm using a friend's account. And we broke into said friend's house last night to get collect some of my stuff. But Danny did have to climb through an (open) window and I had to use my height to boost him up - with in injured hand, no less! You can't stop us, we're outta control.
By the way, "The Italian Job" was fun, but not great. I enjoyed the computer nerd character, as was to be expected. And his computer wasn't a Mac, like it almost always is in movies. And although his screen had all kinds of weird graphical stuff, I did notice he used some real commands in a shell off to the side. Speaking of which, did anyone else notice that Trinity used ssh in Reloaded? I'm such a nerdy nerd McNerds-a-lot.
Well, it took me most of the day, but I've finally gotten a pretty good process for adding pictures to the website. You can check them out on the random picture viewer, or email me if you want specific ones. . .
Another day, another injured wrist. Don't worry, I think it's just sprained again.
It's moving day! For some reason, when I stay in Ft. Collins, there is usually some moving going on. Last time I stayed with them for a long time, they were moving into this house. Now they're moving out. It's like I lived in this house, but I've just forgotten all the in between time.
Joke's on them, though: with my messed-up wrist, I'm pretty useless as far as moving goes. . . time to sit on my butt and watch them move - I can holler constructive criticism from the porch, with a cold drink in my hand.